One of the hardest things about engaging in a FWB type relationship is keeping it casual. The worst thing that could possibly happen in a relationship like this developing feelings. Once someone has feelings the entire dynamic of the relationship is ruined. After all the point was to keep it casual, sex and no feelings.
People struggle with keeping feelings out of this type of relationship because sometimes itís hard to separate lust from actual romantic feelings. If youíre sleeping with this person you probably have to like them at least a little bit as a person otherwise itíd be unbearable to spend any time with them ñ much less any time on top of them. Sexual chemistry plus moderate emotional connection can easily lead to feelings.
The important thing is to keep in mind that you started this FWB relationship to get your kicks without any baggage. In order to keep feelings out of the equation you need to keep your head in the right place. Here are some tips to keep your mind right when youíre emotionlessly fucking around with a friend:
To avoid jealousy, talk about other sex-capades:
In order to keep from getting jealous always be open about how youíre fucking other people. Try to talk about your other sexual or romantic endeavors like you would with any other friend. That way you continue to develop your friendship while getting your kicks.
Who knows? They might end up being a top notch wingman/woman. There are plenty of stories of Fuck Buddies helping the other get laid while out at parties or helping with Tinder while theyíre lying in bed together ñ post sex of course.
Strike a balance between respect & caring for the other without catching feelings
In order to comfortably have consistent sex with someone there needs to be a foundation of respect and caring for the other. However, you need to make sure that basis doesnít erupt into full blown feelings.
Avoid pillow talk that might feel too relationship-y. Try to keep conversation away from discussion of feelings and previous relationships. Talk about things that friends would talk about stick to things like work, school, and I donít know sports?
If you find yourself feeling like you are starting to like this person more than a friend you need to put down those feeling immediately. Think about literally anything else, project those feelings onto anyone else. Because when it comes down to it youíre likely projecting in the first place.
If you catch feelings, break it off.
Because youíre sleeping with this person, you might feel like thereís a chance they could end up catching feelings right back. But letís be honest, that only happens in movies ñ more specifically movies starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
If you find yourself catching feelings remind yourself that youíre probably projecting. You might have stumbled on the desire for a relationship, but that doesnít mean that your FWB is the right person for that. If you canít put your desire for a relationship aside break it off.
Tell them that youíre ready for something more serious and that youíre going to start dating more seriously. That way if you donít put them on the spot by blurting out “I THINK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU”. But if they, by some miracle, have started to feel the same way this gives them the opportunity to speak up and profess their undying love.
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